The friendship between Hidan the jashinist and Midori the psycopath
by Ke-chan and Akatsuki
Summary: Hidan has been underground for about a month, and is getting sick of it. Until one day, a thirteen-year old artistic psychopath named Midori undigs him, hoping for bones and rotting flesh, and ehhh... And wait-Isn't Kakuzu supposed to be dead? Thus starting the friendship between a jashinist and psychopath. Sorry for the weird cover, couldn't help myself. TOBBIIIIIIII !


**Heyo, peeps! I really enjoy all of your help, and I hope you guys enjoy all of my other stories!  
DISCLAIMER FOR ALL CHAPTERS: I DON'T OWN NARUTO! ****Masashi Kishimoto** does, who as far as you know, I am not.

Summary:Hidan has been underground for about a month, and is getting sick of it. Until one day, a thirteen-year old artistic psychopath named Midori un digs him, hoping for bones and rotting flesh, and she doesn't exactly get what she wants but takes it with a good attitude. And wait- Isn't Kakuzu supposed to be dead?! Thus starting the friendship between a masochist and psychopath.

_"It's been so long," _  
Hidan grinded dirt and pebbles in-between his teeth and sneezed. Ever since that pineapple head bastard blasted Hidan to pieces and buried him deep underground in some meaningless (to Hidan, anyway) forest with a bunch of bitch deers about a month ago (it felt like a year to the jashinist) He'd been thinking of a thousand ways to dig himself out, and none of them worked. He even tried eating his way out, which ended up with him throwing up all over himself.  
He betted his bitch of a partner Kakuzu was probably dead, but it's not like Hidan gave a fuck. He just wanted to get out of here.

**~Somewhere in the forest~**  
_FWAK!  
_*Midori carelessly swung her twig (she had just recently found it on the ground) against the trees, not caring if she hit any squirrels in the process. She had heard a rumor from her sickly mother that a man had been buried alive by a konoha ninja. She didn't know what clan he was from, but she knew he must have been evil.  
Midori and her mother didn't really live in a village or did they know what clan they belonged to. Her mother had amnesia after she had given birth to Midori's little brother, *Usumidori, was born. And even before that, she never told Midori about her childhood or her parents. Midori what kind of grandparents she had. Maybe they were adventurous and took down thousands of enemies. Or maybe they were abusive and that's the reason *Aoi, Midori's mom, didn't want to talk about them. Or maybe they were mysterious and never even talked to Aoi. Maybe they were psychopaths like Midori, she may never know, which angered her.  
Midori quivered with anticipation from just thinking about it. But, then again, she didn't even want to talk to her mother after what happen this morning. This was the whole fucking reason she was wandering around the forest wondering where that damned grave was in the first place. She wanted to grab his skull and rotting flesh and shove it down her mother's throat.  
Now, she wasn't going to lie, Midori is a little crazy. She hangs animal carcasses over her bed and lets the blood drip down on her. Then, when it starts to rot, she gets rid of the meat and hangs the fur on her wall, next her father's, *Kiiro, painting of the family and a chunk of his blonde hair she had taken from his dead head. Kiiro had died from a heart attack, and Midori was heartbroken. She had actually had a gigantic crush on her father. He was young and beautiful. She fantasized about him doing her. She once masturbated to his voice, which was in the next room. He was having sex with Aoi, and she imagined his was entering her, filling her with his semen. She had told her little brother this, and he said she needed to see a doctor. She ignored him. He told her that every time she discussed something with him. He was a real jerk sometimes.  
Usumidori was Midori's prized possession. He had one gold eye and one blue eye and a really toothy, cute smile. Midori called that his *_Satsujin _eye. It a little bit slower than his blue eye, but he can see out it all the same. Aoi has never slapped or hurt her son before (she had slapped Midori thousand of times), purposely or mistakenly. Well, this morning was the first.

**~That morning~  
**"Mom, how do you think you got amnesia?" Midori said, pouring more soy sauce over her rice, which was basically drowning in it. Midori had stayed up late last night, cleaning up some blood that spilled on the floor from her latest project, and her mother burst out crying, making Midori feel extremelly bad, so she stayed up later comforting her mother.  
"I'm not sure, sweetheart." Aoi said, which was her answer to all questions like this.  
"That's what you _always_ say." Midori leaned on her arm.  
Her mother sat down at the table, not replying to Midori's complaint, and began to eat her rice.  
"Anyway, mom, where's Usu-chan?" She looked up from her food, referring to her brother.  
"He's taking a bath."  
"This early, why?  
"He just wanted to."  
Midori didn't feel like dragging the conversation on, so she just looked down and continued eating her meal.  
A few minutes past and Usu-chan, as Midori calls him, came down the stairs and sat down next to his sister, leaning his head agaisnt her shoulder.  
"Midori onee-sama,"  
"Hm?" She looked up from her rice once again, not annoyed one bit.  
"You said that you are going to go..." He looked at his mother sideways, who was not paying any attention to their conversation. "...adventuring. When?" He whispered the last part.  
"Oh!" She gasped and grabbed her brother's shoulders, shaking them playfully.  
"I had forgotten! Tommorow! Or at the latest next week! I will find them!" She cried, referring to her grandparents.  
The only thing Midori knew about her grandparents is that they're still alive, and she is determind to find them.  
"Who will you take with you?" He asked, excited by his sister's sudden enthusiam.  
"You of course, little brother!"  
He laughed and cheered, nearly knocking over the soy sauce bottle, which was placed next to his elbow.  
"In fact, I should go over the list!" She pushed her bowl over to Usu-chan.  
"You finish this! It's nice and salty!" She then pushed back her chair, knocking it over, and dashed up the stairs, squealing and laughing.  
Usu-chan took on look at the rice and gagged. There was so much soy-sauce. He knew he was going to get a headache if he ate this. He slyly hid it behind his back and dumped it in the trash can, putting the bowl in the sink.  
**~~~~  
**Midori kicked her bedroom door open for the millionth time, putting a new dent in it. She then threw open the top drawer of her dresser and dug all the way to the pocket.  
As soon as her nails scraped agaisnt a sheet of paper, her hand locked onto the tip and pulled it to the surface.  
Midori's face turned bright with excitement as she took a folded sheet of paper over to her bed.  
She sat down on her bed and unfolded the paper slowly, liking the anticipation that filled her. She slowly read the list that was written on the paper to herself.

* * *

**List a things to do while and before adventuring  
written by Midori  
1: pack all the things that are essential for adventuring  
1.2: those things are: a good money, change of clothes, jug for water, weapons, maps, tools, medicines and herbs(for digging and crap) and personal things  
2: you should bring someone with you incase of danger, loneliness, or depression  
2.1: bring someone who is strong or knowledgable, or both  
3: Don't get shitty tools. They'll wear down easily.  
4: If you make new companions on this journey, don't trust them until you know them longer.  
5: If you plan to stay at an inn, pick on that's not to cheap, but not all fucked up.  
****6:**

* * *

Midori looked at six and took out her pencil from her pants pocket. She new exactly what she was going to write there

* * *

**6: Never leave any of your companions behind**

* * *

Midori nodded her head and smiled to herself with a small "hmph!"  
All that sounded about right.  
She had all the essential things she need except a good amount of money. She had money, but just not enough. She thought about _borrowing _some from her mother, but she never got the chance. She would have to do it soon, though, they, Usu-chan and her, were about to go adventuring.  
"Midori, what's that?" Midori jumped and turned around slowly.  
Her mother was standing right behind her, arms folded.  
Damn it! Midori mentally cursed and herself and turned to face her mother. She wasn't going to show fear.  
"It's my adventuring list. I'm going adventuring." Midori folded her arms and glared at her mother.  
Aoi returned the gesture. "No you're not. It's dangerous and they're are things you just wouldn't understand in the world that's going to get you killed."  
"Shut up! That's what you always say! You're just jealous that you never stepped a fucking foot outside because of you're so called 'fear'," Midori made quotions with her fingers, feeling rather good inside that she let that out.  
Aoi flinched and slowly raised her hand.  
Midori raised an eyebrow. What the fuck is she going to do-  
_SLAP!  
_Aoi filtered chakra in her hand and slapped Midori across the face.  
"Child, you know nothing about me." Aoi said slowly, her eyes filled with anger.  
The ring of the hit echoed through the halls and Midori heard Usu-chan's feet storming up the stairs and in the hall.  
Blood dripped from the side of her mouth and Midori raised her hand slowly to her face, putting her hand gently where her mom's hand been.  
Whenever, Aoi hit Midori, Midori never cried, she actually laughed. But, this time, Midori felt tears well in her eyes and slid down her face, burning her red cheek.  
She let out a strangled sigh and shoved her mother into the wall, infuriated.  
"And who's fault is that?! You. never. fucking. TELL ME ANYTHING!"  
Midori then stood up and punched her mother in the face.  
Usu-chan pushed the door open to witness her older sister and mother wrestling, scratching and hitting eachother in the process.  
"Stop it!" He cried and pulled his sister from on top of her mother. "We can go adventuring if we want to!" He then yelled at his mother. "You could even come with us! Why can't you just accept that we don't want to be cooped up in the house all the time!"  
Aoi was stunned by her son's words, but anger bubbled over her astonishment and she punched her the eight-year old in the stomache.  
He gasped and doubled over, tears falling from his eyes.  
Midori then lost it, she grabbed on to her mother's hair and yanked it, screaming: "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WIH YOU?! WELL? WELL?! HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG! YOU JUST PUNCHED YOUR EIGHT-YEAR OLD SON IN THE STOMACHE!"  
She then shoved Aoi, who's body slammed into the wall.  
Midori helped Usu up and helped him down the stairs, where she put ice on his belly.  
If this happens again, Midori thought, she was going to rip every single strand of Aoi's hair out, one at a time. Agonizingly slowly.  
"Everythings going to be ok, Usu." She cooed and stroked his head.  
"How, Midori, how?!" He shouted, new tears falling from his face.  
"You and mommy keep fighting, and things are getting worse and worse!"  
Midori flinched and felt tears fall from her face too, unexpectedly.  
"Wait, Midori onee-sama, I'm sorry-"  
She shook her head, hair sticking to her tear soaked cheeks.  
She threw open the front door and ran out, crying her eyes out. She blindly crashed into a tree a few yards from her house and slid down to her knees slowly.  
This was not what she wanted the day to turn out like.  
Her mother was getting more violent by the day and she needed to be stopped.  
Midori thought of a way to teach her mother a lesson and a idea popped into her head.  
Her mother had told her about a man that had been buried alive by Konoha shinobi. He was probably all rotting flesh and bone now.  
Midori grinned evilly just thinking of picking up a rotting chunk of flesh and shoving it down her mother's throat, choking the poor woman. It wasn't even that far away. She could easily walk there and back on the same day.  
Midori began to laugh as she stood up, walking deeper into the forest. Her laugh became louder and it tipped the scale from sane to _in_sane.  
Her laughed echoed through the forest and scared the birds.  
Oh, this is going to be good.  
Now that Midori thinks about it, she kind of over reacted to Usu-chan's words. He barely said how things were getting worse, but she was glad she did run away. Know she can't get revenge. Oh, god, this feeling felt better than her father's embrace.

**~Back to Hidan (I LOVE YOU KENPACHI RAMASAMA! LOL)**

Hidan growled from deep in his throat as he heard and felt someone walking towards his grave, dragging something along the way.  
He wasn't sure if it was his captor coming to torture him, or someone just walking by, or another fucking dree dragging its shedded antlers around, but the suspence was killing him, who the fuck was it.  
Hidan felt a chill run down the piece of spine he still had attached to his neck when he heard someone- who happened to be a female(Hidan hadn't banged a chick in months)- say in a menancing voice: "I'm hear to rise you from you're grave."  
**Hope you enjoyed it! I'll post more chapters when I get a good amount of reviews (like five).**


End file.
